“Excuse me, but when a gay guy accepts that another gay guy, no matter who, gets insulted without any reaction or objection, then he is a hypocrite and is a disgrace to homosexuals in general!”
I really think that the issue here is not as skin deep. I think that it’s safe to say that most of us – if not all – have been in a situation where somone (probably a family member) said something homophobic and we didn’t find the courage to speak up in protest.
What I’m trying to say is that those who don’t speak up/protest are not necessairly un-courageous. Rather, the fear that society exercices on us (stigmatization, rejection, outing perhaps…) exceeds the courage that we have to stand up against such remarks*.
*Like most other factors, Courage/outspokeness and fear factors don’t work as a binary system. Each function on its own uni-directional system and our final decision with probably depend on the balance between this fear/courage balance.
So take this and multiply it to an entire social network of homophobia, conservative social control and an immence faculty of fear/guilt factor (just remember how much our Lebanese moms are famous with their guilt cards).
Queer people who don’t stand up when others diss us are still our brothers and sisters and part of our queer community. In that sense, I don’t agree with you Zouzou that they are a disgrace to our community. But I do agree that this an important issue that the queer movement should address.
To reach out to all our queer brothers and sisters is to build more solidarity in our community. As we do that, we can make sure that when that ex-mother-in-law says something offensive again, she’ll get a good response to suit her ill-chosen words.